The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
