What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
