I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
