You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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