they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
