i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
