Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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