i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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