Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
