do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
