Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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