someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
