before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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