Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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