Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
