We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
