Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
