wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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