Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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