it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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