So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
