no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
