i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize