Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
