he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
