i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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