Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
