You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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