handjob tips. give me some.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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