epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dicks are not precious.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
