I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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