tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am available for nakedness
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
