His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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