She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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