oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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