Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
