I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
