ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
