I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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