I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
