where am i from again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
