My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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