If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
