He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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