Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
