Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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