Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
