one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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