He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize