party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
