she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i dont even know how to be here
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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