Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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