I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
