she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
