It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
