what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
